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antivanrufflesAsk any character I've written for advice, and he or she will provide it, advice columnist style. Fictional characters' problems are welcome too.
(And for real go to their LJ's and read their responses, I am dying!!)
antivanrufflesAsk any character I've written for advice, and he or she will provide it, advice columnist style. Fictional characters' problems are welcome too.
(And for real go to their LJ's and read their responses, I am dying!!)
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no subject
Date: 2011-03-27 07:44 pm (UTC)So, I'm a happily married ex-fighter pilot living in a beautiful town with the love of his life. She's pregnant with our first child, and we just found out from the doctor that she's going to be a girl.
Someday there's going to be scumbag males with grabby hands and impure thoughts wanting to put their hands on her. Particularly if she looks anything like her mother. I'm a guy, I know how this works, and unfortunately my wife thinks that deploying my former squadron to drop missiles is overkill. I can't imagine why. But... what advice can you give?
-Expectant Dad
no subject
Date: 2011-03-27 07:59 pm (UTC)As ye may well imagine yer letter was met with an overwhelming amount of feedback from our many columnists. After much deliberation from various sources we have come up with a few suggestions to yer problem.
1) Locking in her away (this seemed to be the general consensus which is why it's number one).
2) When yer beautiful wife finds that to be going over board (which she unfortunately will) we suggest invoking strict guidelines; curfew, age that she may date, etc. We thought about banning her from dating all together, but again the beautiful wife will probably take offense.
3) Keep lots of large knifes, swords, and guns in plain view of any potential males that come calling. Also, as you are a military man, we think it be best if ye wear yer uniform at all times.
4) Make sure yer large military friends are always around as well.
5) Make sure yer friends are wearing uniforms and carrying weaponry as well.
On a more personal note; if any of these potential suitors are Irish, I suggest ye just kill them straight off and be done with it.
Sincerely,
Kenzie, etal.